18 months later....
--I still have my moments when I just don't understand.
--I still grieve--but in a different way than I did a year ago.
--The aching and pain still reside in my heart, but each day that passes brings new glimmers of hope that I wasn't able to see before.
--My eyes still glisten with tears at certain times when I think about or talk about my baby girl.
--Sometimes it still all seems like some kind of strange nightmare...like maybe it never really happened. But the reality is that it did.
--I have learned that when you experience trials in life, that's where the "rubber [truly] meets the road" and the faith that you may claim is either proven or disproven.
"Mountaintop experiences are wonderful, but they will not strengthen us in the way that walking through a valley does."
--I hope and pray that my faith in Jesus my Savior has grown and blossomed as we have been "tested by fire." My desire is to be found faithful to Him as He has been so faithful to me.
"Under His wings, what a refuge in sorrow!
How the heart yearningly turns to His rest!
Often when earth has no balm for my healing,
There I find comfort, and there I am blessed." (Cushing)
--I still have soo much growing and learning to do.--The child that we are now eagerly waiting to meet in just a matter of weeks will in no way replace Alethia Joy. She will always be our firstborn. But we are so thankful for the blessing of new life and more than excited to (hopefully and prayerfully) finally fulfill our roles as parents and (Lord willing) bring a live, healthy baby into the world and into our lives. Please pray with us to that end.
"If He leads you to it, He will lead you through it. And you will come out on the other side, if you choose to let Him work in your heart, you will come out on the other side, victorious."
Maybe, just maybe, I'm starting to see a little light shining through the tunnel from "the other side."
4 comments:
We are continuing to pray for you, dear Sister. I am so very excited that your big day is quickly arriving!!! I'm all teary...I know what you mean...its almost surreal like a bad dream.
You have entered my thoughts so many times over the last 18+ months. And so many times I have wondered about your pain and somehow found strength to carry on in my own pains. You have been such an amazing example of love and faith.
Praying for you and that precious little one to come so soon. Oh my can I relate to the feeling of wondering did THAT really happen to me... Wow... Sweet Alethia is being remembered by many:)
Sara
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