Life...and HOPE...because He's Alive!

Throughout this past weekend, I've been thinking back to what our Easter weekend was like 2 years ago...it was certainly a totally different Easter than what we would have anticipated months before; it was the first time we visited Alethia Joy's grave about 3 months after we said good-bye to her.

It's tough being so far away from where she was buried. I really do wish we could have gone there and just looked at that gravestone again this weekend.

I always enjoy the time we spend with my family; we're very closeknit and I'm so thankful for that. As I watch Hannah Beth playing with her cousins, ages 1, 3, and 5, I couldn't help but think about the little 2 year old girl who "should" have been there with them...playing, laughing, running wild around Grandma and Grandpa's house, and joining in all the "cousin fun..." making the house even more "lively" than it already was.

I wanted to dress my 2 little girls in matching Easter outfits for Sunday morning church.
I wanted to take pictures as a family of four.
It's a feeling that's hard to explain, but I always feel like someone is missing in our house...because she is.

Pondering the truths from God's Word..

They bring hope when life seems hopeless...
They tell of life where there has been death...

"I passed on to you what was most important and what had also been passed on to me. Christ died for our sins, just as the Scriptures said. He was buried, and he was raised from the dead on the third day, just as the Scriptures said." (1 Corinthians 15:3-4, NLT)

"Jesus told her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live, even after dying." (John 11:25, NLT)

"And now, dear brothers and sisters, we want you to know what will happen to the believers who have died so you will not grieve like people who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and was raised to life again, we also believe that when Jesus returns, God will bring back with him the believers who have died." (1 Thessalonians 4:13-14, NLT)

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless Babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones
He came to save

Til on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live.

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again

And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

(In Christ Alone by Keith Getty)


I have been promised eternal life--you can have eternal life by trusting in Him to save you from your sins--because Christ did not stay dead--He rose again!!

And He will give life to my baby girl. I have hope that I will see her again.

Death was not the end for Christ, and it is not the end for us either.

I know I say the words "I'm so thankful" a lot on here... but I TRULY AM. Not sure how else to phrase it.

I'm so thankful for this precious little gift that fills our hearts and our arms.

I'm so thankful that though we grieve, "we can grieve with HOPE...we believe with HOPE..." that someday we'll not only see loved ones that have passed on, but we will see the face of our Redeemer, who died and rose again FOR US.

Such deep, deep love...that He was broken for ME

Broken for me, broken for you,
The body of Jesus, broken for you.

He offered His body, He poured out His soul;
Jesus was broken, that we might be whole,
That we might be whole.

The Girl Loves to Chew

And don't worry, we're not talking about tobacco here...

We're talking about things such as...

SOCKS

(her latest thing is to pull one of her socks off and stick it in her mouth and let it hang out.) It makes me laugh every time...she's such a goofball already! I love it!

BABY MUM MUMS

(much cheaper to buy them at Walmart or Target--not Amazon)

Pretty much anything inside this "Fresh Food Feeder/Teether," especially BANANAS! (I've also tried apples and baby carrots)

MR. HIPPO

...and pretty much anything else she can sink her teeth/gums into!

Still waiting for those top teeth to make their way through.

Yumminess

"Busy Mom's Chicken Fajitas" (crock-pot recipe)

(even if you aren't a "busy" mom [though most moms I know are busy--seems those 2 words go well together] or a mom at all, you might like to try these!)

Ingredients:

1 pound boneless skinless chicken breast halves

1 can (16 ounces) kidney beans, rinsed and drained

1 can (14-1/2 ounces) diced tomatoes with mild green chilies, drained

1 each medium green, sweet red and yellow peppers, julienned

1 medium onion, halved and sliced

2 teaspoons ground cumin

2 teaspoons chili powder

1 garlic clove, minced

1/4 teaspoon salt

6 flour tortillas (8 inches), warmed (we used more than 6 since we don't fill them as full)
Shredded lettuce and chopped tomatoes, optional (we also add shredded cheese and sour cream to ours)

Directions: In a 3-qt. slow cooker, combine the chicken, beans, tomatoes, peppers, onion and seasonings.
Cover and cook on low for 5-6 hours or until chicken is tender.
Remove chicken; cool slightly.
Shred chicken and return to the slow cooker; heat through.
Spoon about 3/4 cup (I didn't measure this--I just spooned some in) chicken mixture down the center of each tortilla.
Top with lettuce and tomatoes (and cheese and sour cream) if desired.

Yield: 6 servings (more or less depending on how much you put in the tortillas) Enjoy! :)

Friends, Puppies, & Cake Pops

Catching up a bit on times with friends... My friend Charissa came to visit in March and it was great to see her.

We went to a consignment store, made apple cake, played with Hannah Beth and just hung out and caught up on life.

Then a few weekends ago, Hannah Beth and I enjoyed spending the day with another great friend, Kristi (and Snuggles).

I had fun learning how to make cake pops for the first time, and Hannah Beth loved the puppy.

Last time we saw them, she wasn't really at all interested in the dog, but this time he made her smile and laugh [especially when he jumped up on the couch]. It was cute!

I love you, friends!

I Heart Birthdays

This past Monday was the big 2-8 for me. It was one of the best birthdays I've had in a long time, especially because this year I had a sweet little child in my arms to celebrate with.

Looking back, my birthday is 2009 was a time of fresh grief and pain, and 2010 I was carrying Hannah Beth, trying my hardest to trust the Lord wholly but often struggling with fear and worry. I don't take lightly each day that I have with my family, knowing that the Lord numbers our days and He is sovereign in our lives. Highlights of my birthday...

A lunch date @ Olive Garden (sorry this isn't a great picture of Tony but it's the only one I have) and afterwards we did a little bit of shopping. Thank you Mom for watching Hannah Beth!

A couple of presents I received (Hannah Beth gave me one of my favorite movies-Enchanted) and Tony gave me Wits and Wagers Family edition (this is a great game.. if you've never played it, you should! super simple to learn)

My husband cooked "breakfast-dinner" (waffles and bacon) for me

And we had angel food cake with cherries and whipped cream :)

I am blessed!

7 months old

**sorry, for some reason I'm having issues with the spacing on this post**

Hannah Beth, you are 7 months old now!!

I know I say this every month, but time is just FLYING BY!

Size: about 16 1/2 lbs (according to home scale)

Diapers: size 3

Clothes: 6-9 months/9 months

This month it was a little harder to take a picture of you with your "month" sign--you just wanted to grab it, crunch it up, and eat it! So Daddy had to hold it where you couldn't reach it.

• 
  
  You continue to be such a great sleeper at night--you usually go to bed around 7 or 7:30 and sleep 11-12 hours. Then you nurse and often go back to sleep for a little longer after playing a bit in your crib.


• 
  
  You take 2-3 naps (usually about 1 or 1 1/2 hours long) a day; usually 2 (first one around 10:30, second one around 1:30-2:00), but if we're going somewhere in the evening and will keep you up later (like Weds-small group, Sun-church/youth group), we'll try to fit a 3rd nap in there if we can. You're often pretty wide awake when we lay you down but you usually go to sleep in a few minutes without any/much fussing. So proud of you!!


• 
  
  You're such a great eater! You nurse 4-5 times each day and also eat 3 meals of baby food in between. New things you've tried this month: green beans, peas, and chicken. You really hated puffs beforehand [probably because of the texture] but now you love them and they make a great snack when we're out somewhere. We haven't found anything yet that you won't eat!

• 
  
  You enjoy your "johnny jumper" but you still haven't figured out how to actually jump! I'm sure it won't be too long!

• You love to read/look at books.


• You're really getting to be a daddy's girl--you get so excited when you hear his voice on the phone or when he comes home from work. It's so precious. He's such a great daddy and he loves you so much. He prays for you each night before you go to bed.

Watching March Madness basketball highlights with Daddy

• You still can't quite sit up on your own so we use the Boppy to support you. You love playing with all your toys. We got out the blocks this month and you are having fun with those.

• Though your back/tummy muscles don't seem to be quite as strong, your neck and arm muscles make it for it. You love tummy time and at about 6 1/2 mos, you started pushing up on your hands and feet and scooting yourself backwards.


• One of the biggest highlights of your 7th month: you got your first 2 teeth! It seemed like you were teething for about 3 months but they popped through at about 6 1/2 months!

• You still love your feet and pulling off your socks.

• You continue to take a bottle well [about 2-4 times a week].

• You're such a happy girl and you even smile at strangers! But you definitely know the faces that you recognize [dad, mom, grandparents].


• You love to hear your own voice and love to squeal and scream!


• You have a certain attraction for and love to grab/hold/play with/eat anything that is shiny or metal [cameras, earrings, cell phones, etc]--pretty much all things that you can't have.. haha.


• You seem to really enjoy getting out of the house and going places, like the store, Bible study, playdates, etc. You like riding in the car much more than you used to.


• We've gone on a couple walks in the stroller when it's been warm enough and you really love being able to look around and take in everything that's going on around you.


• Your fussiest time is the hour or so before it's time for bed...during that time you're usually not as content to play but would rather be carried around the house.


• Things people say about you: "she looks just like her daddy!" "she has such bright blue eyes!" "she doesn't miss a thing, does she?" "she has good hearing!"

Hannah Beth, we sure do love you so much!! One of Mommy's favorite times is going in to see you when you wake up from a nap or nightime. I just love that sweet, "I-had-a-nice-rest" grin you have on your face.

We thank the Lord for the wonderful blessing you are to our family.

Precious Little Girls

Olivianna [JJ Heller]

As soon as I saw the title of this song, and then read the lyrics and heard it play [click here to hear it], I immediately thought of three sweet friends of mine who have had to say good-bye to their babies [2 of whom are named Olivia] in the last few months.

I would like to "dedicate" this post and this song to these sweet precious little baby girls:

Olivia Grace Virginia Carrera, January 16, 2011
Olivia Grace Ham, March 10, 2011
Emma Elizabeth Shaw, March 25, 2011

- - - - - - -
Hearts broke
When your heart stopped beating
I don't Know if mine will ever stop bleeding

Eleven minutes...
To breathe you in
I felt the darkness
When I knew I couldn't hold you again
When I knew I couldn't hold you again

Olivianna, you're in the arms of God
Just a moment there is better than here
Life is short but it is wide
I know it's true
You touched more souls
Than most people ever do

Olivianna, you're in the arms of God
Just a moment there is better than here
You could not stay with us
We will come to you
You could not stay with us

Oh oh oh oh
You're going home love
Where you belong
Oh my baby, girl
I'll see you soon

Olivianna, you're in the arms of God
Just a moment there is better than here
Olivianna, you're in the arms of God
Just a moment there is better than here

I can just imagine our four little girls [along with several other sweet daughters and sons of friends] enjoying the beauties of Heaven together. Can't wait to meet them all someday.

[Thank you to my sister for telling me about this song.]

2 years, 2 months, 2 days...

since we said good-bye to our precious little Alethia Joy who had already passed into the safe arms of Jesus.
They say that "time heals all wounds," but I can't say that I believe that cliche.
Yes, as time passes, by the grace of God, we are slowly healing...but will our wounds of losing our firstborn daughter ever fully heal?
No, not in this life.

We miss her every day, we miss her in every way.
My arms still ache to hold her close to my chest.
My heart still hurts from the pain of such sudden and unexplainable loss.
My mind wonders about the joy and laughter that she would bring us as a bundle-full-of-energy 2 year old. [and I wonder if she would've been like her mommy and possess a bit of that "stubborn/terrible twos" nature! ha]

Just mentioning her name and talking about her [what she was like when we met her and what we would imagine life now to be like with her] brings both joy and sorrow...joy in the memories we have, and sorrow in the loss of all our hopes and dreams of her life with us.

It means even more than I can say when others talk about her...when they validate her precious life and just remember with us.
Seeing her picture on my grandparents' dresser. Having my 3 year old niece [with a sweet smile on her face] point to my necklace and say "that's your neck-a-lace to remember baby Alethia," every time we visit their family.
The little things mean so much.

She will always be our firstborn.

I imagine the fun she must be having in Heaven...I imagine her sitting at Jesus' feet...I imagine her walking the streets of gold with Him.

We're waiting and longing for the day when we won't have to miss our little girl anymore because she will be in our arms again.

On Becoming Less...

John 3:30 (New Living Translation) "He must become greater and greater, and I must become less and less."
Ever since I read this verse a month or so ago, it has been stuck in my head. I've been thinking a lot lately about how selfish and prideful I am. [Is it selfish to be thinking about how selfish I am?]
What are other people going to think about me? What do other people say about me? About my family? What am I going to do today? How am I going to meet my needs? And how are my needs going to be met by others? How can I make my life more comfortable for me?

In my Tuesday morning ladies' Bible study, we're studying Spiritual Warfare: The Battle for God's Glory, a book by Jerry Rankin. This week's chapter is entitled "The Battle Between the Flesh and the Spirit." How appropriate.

"Any attitude that causes us to think that life is about me, my rights, my entitlement, my comforts, and standing up for self is the nature of the flesh."

Though I still struggle with this flesh, this sinful nature, these selfish and prideful tendencies, I am so thankful that ultimately my old sin nature has been crucified- nailed to the cross!- and I am no longer enslaved to it. I have freedom in Christ. And this is not freedom to do whatever I want, it's freedom from my old nature. Freedom to please the Lord.

As Paul talks about the conflict between the flesh and the Spirit in Romans 7, it sticks out to me that in my own strength, my sinful flesh will always prevail. I am nothing good in and of myself. Satan, and my flesh, wants me to get the recognition and praise...to have my needs and desires gratified. And when that happens, God cannot receive the glory in my life.
I'm reminded once again that the victory over sin and flesh has already been won by Christ.
Am I choosing to live in that victory so that God can receive all the glory and praise? Satan only has the power in my life if I allow him to.
When I put my faith and trust in Christ for salvation, He gave me the gift of the Holy Spirit. And now I must let Him have the control.

Galatians 5:16 (New Living Translation) "So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves."

It's a daily struggle... It's not an easy feat... Thankful that Christ gives me the strength I need and I have victory in Jesus.