Never Forgotten : 2 years, 8 months

In just a few short months our firstborn Alethia Joy would be turning 3! In some ways it's hard to imagine having a 3-year-old in the house, but in other ways, I often feel lost without my little toddler who I miss and think about every day.


The pictures in this post were taken this summer during our visit to North Carolina. This was the second time that we brought Hannah Beth to Alethia's gravestone but it was the first time that she was awake and interested in the beautiful flowers decorating the marker. It was very sweet to see her crawl up to the flowers and try to touch them. We have only been able to visit the cemetery twice in the year since we moved to the midwest. It was hard not being able to go there on special days throughout the year - her birthday, Mother's & Father's Day, etc. But we're thankful to know that this is just an earthly reminder and symbol for us; her real soul and life is in heaven, not stuck deep in the ground.


Hannah Beth and I recently spent a couple hours at a friend's house for a playdate. My friend was providing childcare for two other families and the little girl who she was watching was born within a month or two of Alethia Joy. As I watched this little girl "E" talk and play and most of all interact with Hannah Beth, I couldn't help but wonder if my Alli would interact in a similar way with her little sister. It was so sweet to watch "E" give Hannah Beth so much attention, try to be her little helper in any way possible, and hold her on her lap. So touching and heartbreaking at the same time.


We've been taking weekly trips to the public library to check out books [Hannah Beth loves it! - she's already a little bookworm, to my delight.] This past week, as I often do, I selected a book with photographs of babies and children. Hannah Beth's first word was "baby" and she LOVES looking at pictures of them or seeing them in person. I didn't realize until I got it home and started reading it to her that this particular book is filled with photos of toddler and baby siblings - on every page the words and actions in the photos have to do with the older children helping the younger or the secondborn imitating the firstborn, etc. Once again...touching and heartbreaking.


We were recently over at my aunt and uncle's house for lunch and my aunt said something to the effect of "I wonder what Alethia would look like - I wonder what color hair she would have..?" Ah yes, the things I wonder so very very often. And so my mind wandered back to the day that we met her and held her in our arms for hours ~ and we briefly talked about how her hair was a strawberry blonde color and curly, and how we wonder if she and Hannah Beth would look alike. It still means the world to me when other people talk about Alethia Joy - when they are not afraid to mention her name - reminding me that she has not been forgotten by them. Because she is certainly never far from my mind - never forgotten.


I wonder what she is experiencing in Heaven right now...
I know from what the Bible tells us that she certainly is NOT experiencing any of the pain, sorrow, or suffering that this life on earth [results of sin] brings us. And I know that she is in the presence of my Savior, my Jesus, my reason for living each day - for not giving up when days are hard or times are tough.

I can't wait to get there and see for myself.